Flyover Country

Peter failed miserably.  On the night Jesus was arrested, the same guy who had the faith to walk on water denied three times to three different people that he even knew who Jesus was. Jesus himself had told Peter it would happen. Peter’s guilt was overwhelming and must have consumed him.

Yet, Peter was beaten but not defeated.  He himself went to find the tomb empty, and Luke tells us that he left marveling.  A major leader in the early church, Peter would go on to preach and convert many to Christ. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Peter performed miracles (Acts 3:6-8). During a hellish 9 month prison sentence for preaching the gospel, Peter led his jailers to Christ before he was executed by Nero.

On this Easter sunday, I’m reminded that Peter is a crystal clear example of the redemption offered by the blood and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  It doesn’t matter what we’ve done, or how much we believe that we’re out of the reach of God’s forgiveness.  Even if we believe our lives are an epic failure or just too many failures to count, God gave His only son for us.  Truly, as the Lord said to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

Happy Easter from flyover country.

Reading Paul’s second letter to Timothy a week or so ago, I felt a gentle prompting that I need to be more encouraging to those around me.  Paul was languishing in prison, and yet he writes to Timothy and says “I believe in you.”  Negativity is easy.  Being critical is easy.  Sometimes we have a way of tearing down those closest to us in some twisted idea that it builds us up – by bringing someone else down to our level.

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it, push it around?
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

Well, she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that’s what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can’t

Besides that this is not fair, it is wrong.  Those closest to us are also the most vulnerable – we know the most about them. They trust us with the dark places they keep hidden from the rest of the world, their scars, their fears, their hopes and dreams.  This knowledge, this insight is dangerous in the hands of someone who uses discouragement as a weapon to bludgeon those around him.  In the extreme, you have a sociopath who is truly abusive.

What if instead we intentionally used encouragement as a tool to inspire and truly build up?  What if we actually believed in each other in such a way that we started to believe in ourselves?  What kind of grace would be possible?  What kind of incredible things could we accomplish?  What kind of amazing, Godly relationships could we have with each other?

But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. – Hebrews 3:13

Last November, I made a choice to quit my job and move to Kansas.  For the third time, my brother-in-law was deploying to Iraq, leaving my sister and her two kids behind.  I’ve always been very pro-military, and pro-military family — at least in word.  It was time to turn the words into action.  I simply assumed that once I got out here, I’d find a job nearby and everything would simply work itself out.  Fortunately, my company in Ohio agreed to keep me on until the end of December and let me work remotely.  The job market since the beginning of the year has been unkind.

While I’ve had some side work over the last 4 months, I haven’t been able to find anything full time. This has been overwhelmingly difficult on so many levels beyond the paycheck itself and the immediate concerns thereof.  (I’d been saving somewhat earnestly, have no debt besides a mortgage, and the side work has brought in some money – so financially I’ve been okay.)  In addition to pursuing other avenues of employment, with 6 years of working in higher ed on my resume, I applied for more than a half-dozen different positions at a local university, nearly all of which I was over-qualified for.  1 solitary interview at the college and denied.  The only offer during this time, at a firm in Kansas City, came with unacceptable strings attached.  This was not going well at all and to say that I was frustrated would be a gross understatement.

One day, Lord willing, I want to raise a family. How am I supposed to do that with an intermittent income?  As a guy, how am I supposed to expect to have any cause to believe – or for anyone else to believe – I can provide for said family?  In the now, how can I afford my own rent, food, and continue raising my dog by taking a part time job making $9/hour?  Even just sitting out in the car before walking into interviews at major retail stores was depressing.  Despite all of my IT/computer experience, I was literally mere days away from starting an entry level part-time position on the floor of a major hardware store when I got word of a FT offer in Kansas City – a good-paying job I will start less than two weeks from now.

Yet, I’ve had a chance to gain perspective on the last several months and begin to understand that all wasn’t lost during this time – rather, perhaps more was gained.

I’ve been able to spend time, far more than if I was working full time, with my sister and her kids.  I had time to go to DC for a few days to visit, to see old friends and meet new ones, take in a jazz show – something I hadn’t done in years, and attend CPAC — all without having to ask anyone for time off.  I’ve had time to read, to work for myself, to watch a movie in the middle of the day with a friend from many miles apart, to go watch my niece’s soccer games, to slow down, to start working out regularly, to start to rediscover my faith.

While I’m thankful to be back in to the world of working full-time, no, over the last few months I haven’t been very productive.

I’ve had time off to realize that isn’t how life is meant to be measured.